If You’re Not Rooting For Global Warming You’re An Idiot

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Let me preface this by saying this has nothing to do with political views. We don’t discuss politics on 114 Pembroke and weather (intended) you’re a Democrat, Republican, communist or terrorist it’s really irrelevant to this discussion. I’m just trying to have a rational discussion on why we need the earth’s temperature to rise without this turning into a dumb political debate. Is that too much to ask? I digress.

Look at that map. Confederate strongholds are about to be mollywhopped by snow. We need global warming to either shit or get off the pot. I’ve been rooting for global warming real hard. Nobody wants global warming more than me. I want to spend Christmas Eve on the golf course. Give me South Carolina’s climate in Boston. But the fact of the matter is the entire east coast is about to be be covered in snow and global warming is nowhere to be found. Global warming is the classic ‘hold me back’ guy. Either throw a punch or we’re going to continue to be miserable assholes for half the year for the next thousand years in New England.

Don’t listen to the fear mongers on TV telling you that global warming is going to destroy us or that you’re going to be underwater in five years. You’re not. Listen to your own selfish interests and join my pro-global warming movement. Just one small request; when you’re drinking Margaritas on the beach in Boston in February 2030 don’t forget to find me and tell me I was right.

– Ballgame

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1 Comment

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One response to “If You’re Not Rooting For Global Warming You’re An Idiot

  1. Anonymous

    LOL love global warming. Luv that your back blogging Ted. Your so passionate about it!!! Always do what makes you happy. Missed ya at the wedding later babes

    Xoxo

    Kate

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