Apparently The Government Has Been Texting Mexicans In California Telling Them To Lose Weight

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When your fingers are too fat to open your texts…

FoxnewsThe National Institutes of Health is spending more than $400,000 sending text messages to Latino men to encourage them to exercise.

The University of California, San Diego is conducting the study, which is attempting to employ the “low-cost” strategy of using cell phones to reach Mexican-Americans.

“Mexican-American men report high rates of inactivity and related health conditions. The proposed study seeks to promote physical activity among this at-risk, understudied population by developing interactive and tailored text-messages to enhance a print-based physical activity intervention for Spanish- speaking [Mexican American] MA men,” a grant for the project said. “The proposed high-reach, low-cost strategy for increasing physical activity has great potential for adoption on a larger scale and thereby positively impacting public health and eliminating health disparities.”

Latino men “may have limited access to public health interventions promoting physical activity,” according to the project, and there is a “dearth of studies in this area.”

Well this is bullshit. And no, I’m not offended because texting fat Mexicools seems like a giant waste of taxpayer money. I’m offended as a (probably) future fat person that I’m not getting these texts. Why are only Mexican guys getting fat shamed when there’s so much home grown fat shaming we can do? Maybe Trump is right, we need to build a wall. At least then only in-shape Mexican guys will be able to climb over it and the US can focus their fat shaming on me so I stay skinny. Not to mention the cruel irony of my three times a week Chipotle habit most likely being the cause of my eventual foray from skinny fat into actually fat. Unless Chipotle keeps serving poisoned food then I get the taste of it and lose weight, that’s a win/win. But until we know that for sure, fat Mexicans in California will continue to be the cause of my weight gain. First the Mexicans came to have their babies here and I did not speak out because I didn’t have any kids. Then they came for our manual labor, and I did not speak out because I work at a desk. Then they came for my ability to stave off diabetes…and there was no one left to speak for me.

– Ballgame

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