Tales From The Cube: A Handicapped Stall Nightmare Come To Life

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Before I start, this 100% actually happened to me at my old job. I figured anyone stuck in the hell known as corporate America can appreciate this.

As people in cube world (and I guess regular world) all know, if you’re going to be taking a dump in any toilet other than the one in your house, the handicapped stall is a must. It’s the luxury suite of the bathroom.

So I’m just sitting there checking twitter on my phone when the door opens, which always freaks me out anyways. I stay dead silent in the stall when somebody comes in. I always move my feet over too so that nobody can see my shoes so afterwards I can’t be identified when I’m walking around the office. So then I start hearing a stick hitting the walls. Then a stick hit the door of the handicapped stall that I literally have my pants down in. The guy who walked in the bathroom…was blind. So I start freaking out. My first reaction is to pull my pants up panicking thinking that blind people obviously use the handicapped stall. My worst nightmare of a mutant coming in to use the handicapped stall while I was in there was unfolding right infront of me. I let out one of the weakest “uuhh someone’s in here” while still in a state of panic having no idea what my next move should be.

Then it hit me. This person has no idea I’m in the handicapped stall. They’re blind! How would he know the stall I’m in is for “them”? And even if he did realize somehow I was in there, how would he ever be able to tell anyone it was me in there? He can’t even see me! Pretty much one of the biggest sighs of relief of my life. So I finished my business, got the hell out of dodge and lived to tell the tale. Just another day in cube world.

Seeing – 1
Not seeing – 0

– Ballgame

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