The CDC Issued A New Report Saying You Shouldn’t Pee In The Pool…Wait What?

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CDCSwimmers can help protect themselves, their families and friends by following a few easy and effective steps:

Keep the pee, poop, sweat, and dirt out of the water!

Don’t swim if you have diarrhea or have been vomiting
Shower before you get in the water
Don’t pee or poop in the water
Don’t swallow lake or pool water

Next weekend’s Memorial Day weekend, summer’s coming, time to brush up on summer swimming safety tips from the CDC. Most of these make sense. Don’t puke everywhere when you’re swimming. Don’t swallow lake or pool water. In fact, if you live in Massachusetts (or any coastal state) and you’re a lake person just go ahead and drown yourself in said lake. Lake people disgust me. Lake water is gross and you have NO idea whats swimming around in a lake. Like in the ocean I know I’m (probably) getting eaten by a shark if I go out past where I can stand. But in a lake there could be turtles, snakes, lake monsters, you just don’t know. Plus that gross lake sand makes me skin crawl. Lakes are for poor people, fact*.

Now here’s where the CDC goes off the rails; no peeing in the pool. What an outrageously wrong thing for them to say. Peeing in pools is 100% fine. Especially if it’s a hotel pool or something. I was in Ft. Lauderdale a couple years back on a bachelor party and we were having beers, talking with these random girls in the pool and I was just peeing everywhere. Quite literally taking a piss on these girls and they were none the wiser. If you don’t want to pee in your friend’s pool or something out of respect that’s cool. I don’t do that either. But random pools? Let it fly. There’s nothing more convenient that peeing in a pool.

*The great lakes are fine and obviously Lake Tahoe is too. Lake Tahoe is the complete opposite of a poor person lake.

– Ballgame

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