Vegas Is Hosting A Convention For Recovering Cocaine Addicts

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LVRJ I’m not sure how stupid or genius this idea will turn out to be, but the 31st Annual Cocaine Anonymous World Service is coming to Vegas (um, what?) for a dry convention.

“That’s right,” the group’s news release proclaims. “A proud fellowship of recovering drug addicts will soon converge on the most sinful of all cities May 21-25. We are opening our doors Friday the 22nd at 10am to members of the media who might be interested in doing a story on the event.”

OK. Sure. Why not. I mean, Mother Teresa once said she asked God to send her to the place on earth with the biggest need so that she could be of the most help. Sooo, I guess that’s similar?

“We believe that many people outside of Cocaine Anonymous are very concerned about the serious problem of drug addiction,” the news release states. “We hope that you will find this an excellent opportunity to find out how a large (and growing) number of people have learned to help each other to recover from drug addiction, and to live a more spiritual, happy and fulfilling life ‘one day at a time.’”

Also in the news today; your local dive bar will begin to host AA meetings on Friday nights and the nearest brothel will be hosting sex addicts whenever they feel the need for “counseling”. Holding the coke convention in Vegas is essentially the end of this scene:

This is one hell of a business opportunity for coke dealers in Vegas. Not that coke dealers in Vegas are struggling for customers by any means but it doesn’t get much easier than this. You could just set up a booth right outside this convention and sell out of all your product in 10 minutes. If I were a coke dealer in Vegas I’d treat this weekend like Uber’s surge pricing. Listen, you want a bag? There’s an entire convention center filled with coke addicts right now, you need to pay a premium. It’s really what Adam Smith was talking about with the Invisible Hand. Only this Invisible Hand is holding a credit card chopping up lines in a Vegas hotel room. Still though, you have to admit that capitalism is a beautiful thing.

– Ballgame


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