The Odds Are Out For Who Tiger’s Next GF Will Be…Let’s Take A Look At my (Hypothetical) Plays

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Date Tiger’s back!!!!!

The Irish sportsbook Paddy Power released odds today on Tiger’s next girlfriend. There’s definitely some interesting plays on the board. Here’s what I’d bet if I could get a Paddy Power account (which you can’t if you’re America). To the bets!

Elin Nordegren (7/1) – The favorite. I think this ends up happening but if it doesn’t then it won’t be because Tiger doesn’t try. Elin is an absolute rocket. They have kids together. Tiger wants to re-kindle the old flame but this is on Elin and I think she might go for it.

Cameron Diaz (16/1) – I think Cameron Diaz just married a guy from Good Charlotte which was clearly a desperation panic move so she’d dump him in a heart beat if Tiger came calling. Plus I feel like some how Tiger would be into Cameron Diaz even though she hasn’t been hot in years. I can see this happening.

Jenna Jameson (20/1) – If Tiger goes back to fucking porn stars he’s winning the remaining three majors this year. This would be the best career move for him.

Rachel Uchitel (33/1) – I’m actually shocked these odds are so high. Good value play here on Tiger circling back to an old mistress. Plus you know Uchitel is a shameless fame whore so she’d go back with Tiger.

Caroline Wozniacki (40/1) – What a DIABOLICAL move this would be. I don’t think Tiger would do this but you know Wozniacki would. She’s probably trying right now as I type this. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tiger shows up to his hotel room at the next tournament and Wozniacki’s already in there with whipped cream on her tits. She’ll do anything to try to get back at Rory.

Jennifer Lawrence (40/1) – Tiger seems to have a thing for blondes so this works. But what’s Jennifer Lawrence’s deal? I can’t figure this chick out. She’s hiding something. I think she’s weird enough that Tiger would dig her.

Pamela Anderson (50/1) – This harkens back to when Tiger was a huge nerd before he went pro and became famous. You know he was cranking them out to Pam Anderson on the reg and now he has the power to take advantage of it. Plus, she’s a porn star to an extent.

Pippa Middleton (100/1) – Tremendous value here. I don’t think they’d necessarily like each other but this would be a great professional relationship for both. It’d certainly be great for Pippa. I’m not sure it works as well for Tiger but still, everyone wants to be connected to the royals.

– Ballgame

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