HUGE News: The “Dad Bod” Is In

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Which guy do you think I am?

TheOdysseyonlineIn case you haven’t noticed lately, girls are all about that dad bod. I hadn’t heard about this body type until my roommate mentioned it. She used to be crazy over guys she claimed had the dad bod. After observing the guys she found attractive, I came to understand this body type well and was able to identify it. The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, “I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time.” It’s not an overweight guy, but it isn’t one with washboard abs, either.

It doesn’t intimidate us.
Few things are worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit, one being taking a picture in a bathing suit with a guy who is crazy fit. We don’t want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don’t need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.

We like being the pretty one.
We love people saying “they look cute together.” But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.

Better cuddling.
No one wants to cuddle with a rock. Or Edward Cullen. The end.

Good eats.
The dad bod says he doesn’t meal prep every Sunday night so if you want to go to Taco Tuesday or $4 pitcher Wednesday, he’d be totally down. He’s not scared of a cheat meal because he eats just about anything and everything.

You know what you’re getting.
Girls tend to picture their future together with their guys early on. Therefore, if he already has the dad bod going on, we can get used to it before we date him, marry him, have three kids. We know what we are getting into when he’s got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he’s going to have at 45.

“Thank God there’s still a sport for middle sized white boys” – Derek Sutton – Ballgame

This has to be the biggest development for guys since the advent of The Pill. I know for me at least this is a huge, HUGE breakthrough. Lifting weights is out – drinking beer and eating pizza is in. Everything’s coming up Ballgame! (you know, if you ignore my last blog). It’s like we’ve worn down chicks so much that they’ve finally given up. They have no choice now but to accept the fact that we like watching sports, drinking and hanging out with our friends more than them and now they have to adapt. It’s really just Darwinian evolution. I’m not even sure this article isn’t satire (from what I can tell it isn’t) but either way even it it is girls probably won’t be smart enough to figure that out so they’ll just assume the Dad Bod is in because the internet/Cosmo told them so.

The only thing I’m worried about with the Dad Bod now being the hot bod is that girls won’t try as hard to keep themselves in shape anymore but based on the reasons given above I don’t think that’s the case. The Dad Bod being “in” is pretty much just based on girl’s insecurities. They want to assure that they’re the prettier, more in shape person in the couple. So for that to be the case they’re still going to have to work out and keep their body’s in tip top shape. It’s the ultimate win/win. Like I give a fuck that my girlfriend has a better body than me. That’s the goal – to outkick your coverage. My confidence couldn’t be higher right now. #Dadbodlyfe4lyfe

ps – How about this guy getting named 2015 World’s Sexiest Man?

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BHAHAHAHAHAHA. Take that ugly ass hard body back to Ireland Jamie Dornan. This is Dad Bod country now and Ballgame’s the Mayor.

– Ballgame


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