A Few Rugby Guys In Argentina Got Their Missing Teeth Replaced With Bottle Openers

(You can skip to like the 1:40 mark)

UPIBUENOS AIRES, April 29 (UPI) — An Argentinian beer company replaced rugby players’ missing teeth with bottle opener implants as part of an ad campaign.

The Salta beer ad, created by agency Ogilvy Argentina, documented how the company teamed with an oral surgeon “to reward players who gave everything they’ve got on the field — including their teeth.”

“We decided to give rugby players back the teeth they had lost in battle,” the ad says. “But we weren’t going to give them a simple tooth back we developed a unique dental implant, a specially designed tooth to open beer.”

The implants, which were installed by Dr. Sebastian Juri, bear the Salta brand name and were demonstrated to be working beer bottle openers by the patients at the end of the ad.

Call me crazy but I’m not really on board with bottle opener teeth. Maybe I’m old fashioned but this just isn’t appealing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s vintage rugby bro to have bottle opener teeth but I’d prefer my key chain. Plus, imagine eating with this in there? Constantly getting shit stuck in your bottle opener. Popcorn would be a nightmare. Then having to explain to everyone that you have a bottle opener tooth and people constantly asking you to open their bottles would be torture. You’d turn into some sort of circus freak at the bar. You may be able to land the tatted up chick with tons of piercings and that’s awesome for a night or two but you can’t take her to Cisco Brewery without the music stopping and every girl there from Hingham gasping. And I need to be able to live in that world*. So for me, I’ll stick to my trust bottle opener and save my teeth.

*I’m unemployed, but you’re picking up what I’m putting down.

– Ballgame

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