Your Standard Goblin Shark Found Off The Coast Of Australia

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Yahoo -Sydney (AFP) – A rare sea creature described as an “alien of the deep” has been found off Australia and delivered to a museum which Tuesday showed off its fleshy snout, nail-like teeth and flabby pink body.

The prehistoric-looking goblin sharks live on deep sea bottoms and little is known about their lives.

The museum said the body of the shark, which had died by the time it was given to the local aquarium, had nonetheless been well kept and would be an asset to its collection.

“It’s pretty impressive, it’s not hideous it’s beautiful,” said the Australian Museum’s fish collection manager Mark McGrouther, who described its teeth as looking like “little daggers”.

It doesn’t mention it in the article but I assume this shark died when some drunk Aussie blokes thought it would be fun to jump in the water and wrestle it. Classic Aussie move. But I digress.

People are probably going to claim this is yet another reason why the ocean is a big scary place and you should never go in it. I couldn’t disagree anymore and I’m an expert on the matter. You see, when I was twelve years old, my father got me this boat and I went fishing off of Cape Cod. And I hooked a scup. And as I was reeling it in, I hooked a four and a half-foot baby thresher shark who proceeded to eat my boat. He ate my oar, hooks, and my seat cushions, he turned an inboard into an outboard. Scared me to death. And I swam back to shore. And when I was on the beach, I turned around and I actually saw my boat being taken apart. And ever since then, I have been studying sharks. Which is why I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to worry about a goblin shark biting your foot off. Great Whites off the Cape? Yes, you should be aware of that. But just do what I do and never go out past where you can stand because then you’re in their world and if you get eaten it’s basically your own fault. Thus ends today’s lesson on sharks. 81 days until Memorial Day.

– Ballgame


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